With Christmas a few weeks, and Santa set to gift around the world, I thought I’d pop in with a few tips on how to decrease commercial consumption this holiday season. It feels potentially even more important this year due to the pandemic. As I’ve mentioned before, many of us use shopping as a way to try to address our emotional state. And let’s be honest, we all could use a little “pick me up” after the year it’s been.
Gift giving and receiving is a tricky topic, for sure, but it is one that is on many people’s minds. I’m a member of a few parents’ groups on Facebook, and there are numerous posts about how to minimize gift giving and decrease “all the stuff.”
There are so many different ways to look at this issue, and it is very important not to devalue the role of gift giving and reciprocity within one’s culture. Within that context, here are six ways my family has tried to navigate the holiday onslaught:
one // Communicate.
Obviously this is the best place to start. Discuss your family’s priorities and views with your partner, and then communicate these values to those closest to you who will likely be giving your family gifts. Also communicate them to your children. It’s important that your children have realistic expectations around gifts. We often talk about how different families do things differently and that certainly applies to the holidays!
A common complaint is that people have told their mom/dad/aunt/mother-in-law/grandmother how they feel and the “don’t listen.” Honestly, that’s their prerogative. All you can do is ask nicely.
two // Ask for and give experiences, food, or really useful items.
All of these things are slightly lighter on the environment and result in less stuff in your home. However, much of gift giving is about the “wow factor” and the recipient’s reaction, and the giver knows that. They might not want to give a museum membership instead of a toy that will bring the child instant gratification. Again, their prerogative.
However, holidays can be a good time to ask for things that will help you to live the life you’ve imagined with your kids. For us, this has meant asking for bike-related gear or toys that get the kids outside (scooters, skateboards, stroller attachments, etc.). Maybe your child needs some new “gear” that will help the pursue their favorite activities?
three // Ask for and give the things your children truly need.
Around late summer, I stop buying my kids the things they need. Socks, underwear, new clothes… And if I do buy these things, I set them aside until Christmas. These are things you can ask relatives to give as well.
four // Shop consignment.
This works best when shopping for one’s own immediate family, as not everyone is “into” consignment. (Although they should be, and apparently it’s the next “big holiday trend.”)
I start looking for holiday gifts around summertime. If I see a good toy or clothing item, I’ll buy it and stash it away until December. Goodwill and similar stores are usually pretty picked over right before Christmas, but there are great things to be found in August!
I also have good luck at kid consignment stores when I need specific clothing items for my kids. Last year my youngest needed mittens, and I was able to find a Patagonia pair for $5!
five. // Gifts do not need to be new.
I usually give my children books form “Little Free Libraries.” I also have boxes hidden in the attic of toys from my childhood that I will give to my kids, as age appropriate. Perhaps your relatives have and heirloom or old item that they no longer want that you or your kids would enjoy. My mom gives me some of her beautiful sweaters and my mother-in-law recently gifted me a candle holder that had been in her family for decades. Remind yourself and others that gift giving is about the thought; it does not have to be a brand-new item.
six // Let it go.
This is a reminder to myself as much as a tip to you: when it comes down to it, you can only control the things you can control, and people have a lot of different emotional attachments to gift giving. People show their love through “stuff,” so sometimes we should just say “thank you” and appreciate the sentiment. There are signs that the culture around gift giving is evolving (note the article I linked above!). Do what you can, and then just put your feet up and enjoy a holiday treat!
