low-impact parenting from the start: tips for pregnancy

When I became pregnant with my first child in 2011, I registered for glass baby bottles. I was planning to breastfed, and ultimately did breastfeed. My daughter never really took a bottle. Neither did my second baby, or my third. Back in 2011, I never really thought about why I was registering for baby bottles. Babies just needed bottles, right? Well maybe. But mine didn’t.

From the moment you think you’re pregnant (nay, from the moment you decide you’d like to maybe become pregnant), our capitalist society is ready to sell you something. Messages bombard you from all directions about what you need, what the baby needs, what will make your life easier.

I fell for a lot of it. We all do. We’re human. We’re products of our environment. We’re persuadable. And, honestly, some of it does actually make your life easier. You need some of it. You just don’t need all of it.

Here’s what I’d say to my 2011 self; the advice I’d give on what to buy and not buy and how to start off on the right foot in terms of low-impact, minimalist parenting:

Wear what you have. It might be tempting to buy a lot of maternity clothes, but try to first “shop your closet” for your baggier clothes, pants with a larger/lower waist band, and all the spandex. You can use a rubber band on your jeans button for a couple months, and if it’s summer, dresses are always a good choice for a growing belly. Yes, you will probably need some new clothing, but not as much as you might think.

Seek out pre-loved maternity clothes. When you run out of options from your current wardrobe, it’s time to find some pre-loved options. Ask your friends, look on Facebook groups, or shop consignment online. You’re sure to find plenty of used maternity clothes. During this process, keep in mind: women are, by design, pregnant for only a relatively short period of time (I know it might not feel that way when you’re in the throes of it). This idea is important to remember for two reasons: you won’t need clothes that last a lifetime, and any used clothes you buy will likely be only lightly worn.

If you buy new, select a few key pieces from ethical brands that will work postpartum. If you do buy new clothing, seek out ethical brands that use natural materials. Undergarments and sleepwear that you can nurse in are items you’ll wear over and over again.

Do you really need the maternity pillow? Probably not. Think about it: what will you do when you’re no longer pregnant? Put it in your guest room? No. Use a few extra pillows to make yourself comfortable at night. Even buy a few new ones if needed; they’ll be much more useful in the long run.

But, if you do feel inclined to “stock up” on gear: GET IT USED! Parents love to get rid of things! Once a child is done with something, parents want it out of their house to make room for new items. As a result, they’re often happy to give things away or sell them for a reasonable price. Strollers, high chairs, baby bouncers, you name it! There are several online website dedicated to reselling kids’ gear, and Facebook groups are always a great place to look, too.

Rethink the registry. Once you have thought through what you can obtain for the baby from friends or neighbors, decide whether or not you want to create a baby registry. People love to show their affection through gifts, and you’re sure to have many well-wishers. Be very clear about what items you want (or don’t want!) for your baby. If you don’t give any guidance, you’ll get 25 Carter’s pajama suits in size newborn. And those are not very useful! Think about the items you truly want or need for the baby that might be more expensive and/or hard to find used: cloth diapers, a baby carrier, a crib. You also might ask for take-out gift cards, meal services, laundry service, a massage, etc.

Make goals + take classes. I didn’t love the idea of taking classes when I was pregnant, but I’m so glad that I had wise people in my life who encouraged me to do so. I gained a great deal from taking prenatal yoga and breastfeeding classes. The tools I gained from these classes definitely helped me during my pregnancies and postpartum periods.

Seek out like-minded friends. Generally, I think it’s great to have friends who have a wide-variety of views and ways of doing things. But when it comes to parenting, there are so many ways to do it and to do it well. As you think about your parenting style, it helps to talk to others who have similar intentions for how they want to raise their kids.

Focus on the baby and your health; the “staff” can wait. So often we want to prepare for a big event like a baby by buying all the things we “need.” But, remember, babies don’t need very much besides warmth, food, and love. Try to focus on your health during pregnancy and your relationships. Enjoy some alone time (trust me on this one). Of course you’ll get a few things for the baby, but you can still shop once the baby arrives!